My Personal Spiritual Journey

As a middle child son born to immigrant parents from the Philippines in the mid-1960’s, I grew up with an inferiority complex. I relate to Scott Peck’s first three words “Life is hard.”, in his book, A Road Less Travelled. My older brother was the smart son and my younger brother was the handsome son. The script I carried on my shoulder was “I am stupid and ugly.” The poor decisions I made in my teens were an attempt to get noticed by my parents. Since a lock was made by my older brother on intelligence and by my younger brother on appearance, then my play was to rebel. Acting out by smoking, partying, average grades, playing in a rock band, and riding a motorcycle were my reasons for existence. Then came my conversion. Early morning of January 1, 1977 after a riotous New Year’s eve party, I came home feeling lost, confused and not having a purpose for my life. I was a senior at Northview Heights Secondary School in the city of Willowdale, North York, Ontario, Canada and I had no clue what I wanted to do after high school. I was almost in a drunken brawI, found my way home, crawled into bed and woke from a troubled sleep, feeling guilty from all the immoral decisions of a troubled youth. I cried out to God, “Where are you?” Not believing in God, I found myself praying the Sinner’s Prayer. “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner,” I prayed out to the heavens as I looked out of my window. I never felt so much peace and forgiveness from a God I was running away from. I gave my heart to Him for direction and service. An encouragement from a childhood friend to attend Andrews University was the nudge I needed to enter the pastoral ministry. The next scary thing after risking my future to God was to share with my parents that I want to become a pastor. My father was naturally skeptical. My mother was strangely charismatic. She couldn’t stop praising God for answering her prayers. This conversion is almost thirty-one years ago! Over thirty years of pastoral ministry later, why pursue a Doctor of Ministry Degree now? Again an encouraging nudge from a colleague made me believe that it might not be too late for me. He was in his early 60’s when he graduated with a Doctor of Ministry Degree. He text me his jubilant picture with his graduation regalia and the comment: “If I can do it, you can do it, too!” Another nudge came from my colleague who happens to be my senior pastor who himself has earned many graduate degrees. He values higher education, while remaining humble with a great capacity for common sense. I admire him greatly. Lastly, my wife has demonstrated great patience in encouraging me to return to school. She withstood my many excuses by unconditionally believing in me despite myself until I finally chose to take this plunge. I am eternally grateful to her.