My Prayer Journal Thurs/Dec 29/2011 My prayer today is for my dad, Daniel Orquila Belonio Sr. I am named after him. I am the Jr. He is prominent in my mind because of the difficult news that he has prostate cancer. It's been several years now, at least five years he was diagnosed with this type of cancer. I think after one year since his remarriage to Berlyn Casulla that he came down with this disease. Chantelle Danica was born, August 31, 2006. At my 48th birthday, I became an older brother to baby Chantelle. It was this same 2006 year that he came down with prostate cancer, unsure about the month. Whatever the month he had this cancer discovered, it does not change the awful dread in my heart that in fact my dad is going to die someday. Perhaps, sooner than I want or am willing to let go. It hurts a lot to think about it. My dad is 79 years old. He is 25 years older than I am. He was born October 28, 1932 in Iloilo, Philippines. I was born July 25, 1957. My dad was 25 years old when I was birthed in this world in Miller Hospital & Sanitarium. My mother, Rebecca Real was a good woman who was brave during my birth because she almost died from the delivery. I was a very big baby. Last week on Thursday, December 22, three days before Christmas he started radiation therapy, a total of five treatments. Even on Christmas day, December 25 he had his third treatment. By the time he leaves the hospital, he would have had completed five treatments. He arrived to this decision to have radiation therapy after he almost died during his visit with his younger brother, Abraham in the Philippines. He was advised by his wife and myself not to make this trip. Stubbornly, he went anyways. Stubbornness is a strong trait of my dad. I must admit that I have this stubborn trait, too. During this trip, he lost 20 pounds and fell while in the plane on his arrival back to Toronto, Ontario. He called me Monday, December 19 to tell me he was not feeling very well, about his pain and that he was going to ask his doctor to admit him so that he can rest. He felt badly that his wife was bathing him, feeding him, and helping him go to the bathroom. I'm glad for Berlyn's continued care of my father. i will always be grateful to her. While some of my siblings had issues with dad's remarriage, I processed it and came to accept it. I and my older brother, Darielyn co-officiated our dad's wedding. Our two younger siblings, Darrell & Rosita had difficulties in accepting his new wife and family which is understandable. One year after my mom died, dad remarried. One year after that, Chantelle Danica was born. My younger siblings felt they were disloyal to mother, Rebecca Real if they accepted this marriage. For my older brother and myself it was not a matter of disloyalty but a fact of life that no adult child can ever meet the needs of a widower who happens to be our dad. A good friend, Romelda Jereos Anderson who also had to deal with this issue after she lost her mother. Her dad, Tatay Jereos married someone much younger than he was. Romelda said, "A son's love no matter how good it is can never match the love of a loving wife. Your life moved on after your mother died, didn't. Then, why can't your dad's life move on, too?" Makes sense to me. It seemed the unselfish thing for me to see dad move on. Why? It's not about me. It's about dad--his needs and his life. I'm glad his new family fills him with so much happiness in the midst of his pain dealing with cancer. Another good friend told me when I had issue about the timing of dad's remarriage, he said to me, "Whether your dad marries one year later from your mom's death or 10 years later, it does not change the fact that she's dead. She's not more or less dead after she died." Despite the loss of my mom through death, I realized the truth of a man's need for companionship and the significance of time, and how we all want to love and be loved! How true, isn't? Prayer: Dear God, I thank you for my dad and all he's done for me. I pray that his remaining years on earth with his family and friends will be as pain free as possible. Only You know how long or short that time will be. I trust in You. I ask You for his days to not be filled with pain and suffering he cannot bear. Rather, will You be His strength and comfort during these difficult days ahead? Amen."